Relation-SHIP

Relations are really tricky, I mean very tricky to handle and sometimes, when one cannot maintain it, it can loosen-up and sometimes it could break, but on worst cases, it could sink.

I am not going to get deep into it, but there is a small insight I would love to share it with you, which would be right after the poem:

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PS. Things written in Italic is said by person A and the one in Bold is person B.

It was a blur, the love we had,

Never had I seen it fade to dust,

I thought, all was based on trust.

Trust I had, so did you,

But, you thought me as a fool,

In the end all I could say,

You were so far away from the truth.

You let us die,

You let the world fill us with lies.

Urgh, stop complaining, all I can hear are your cries.

No, I never let us die.

Stop and listen for a fact that you always deny,

You say you love me, where were you when all I wanted was a ear,

You say we were made for each other, but you argue over every little thing

All you did was made me suffer.

You think, I caused the mess,

But in reality, you wouldn’t worry, for you had your pretty dress.

Yes, happiness I did find, in the smallest of things,

Late at night, when all you wanted was some fun after drinks,

Never did you care what I wanted and what I need,

All you wanted me to do was to make you something for your mouth to feed.

Oh, I didn’t think we had such a deed,

When you came in with all your greed.

I thought you loved me for who I am,

Not for my net worth,

I needed you the most when I lost my career,

But all you did was make me fear.

Fear that you’d leave me alone for me to suffer the pain.

But I acted like that, so you could get back up,

And fight your way to the top,

So, you’d realize things are not given but gained.

And I did that, thinking I didn’t provide you more,

I forgot what emotion was,

And that’s what brought me, such a huge loss.

This may be a short poem, but it recognizes the need to talk among ourselves. We have become so much needy that we end up misinterpreting what other person is trying to convey.

It’s about time we mature up and forget things like, “Hey, you know what, that person hasn’t wished on my birthday, so I won’t wish them.”  Who doesn’t like to be wished on their birthdays! But, that doesn’t mean, we have to be mad at them for forgetting it.

There are reasons why people fail to maintain relationships and number one being CAREER. It’s tough to actually maintain relations, when you have to build up on your dream.

Second, PRIORITIES. Yes, everyone has a priority. I may be a priority to someone, but they may not be on my priority list, but that doesn’t mean that I hate them or I don’t talk with them, I can say that I will be there for them, when they need me.

Third, being the attitude, behaviour and culture. People have different attitudes. Some people love having a dozens of people hanging around with them, while some may prefer being just by them-self or may only want to hang out with a couple. It becomes, difficult to maintain relations with both. Since you may never know, who the former person is close to, or you may never end up knowing their true self. While for the latter, it’s really difficult to get into their zone and making sure they let you stay.

“If you want to maintain a relationship, you have to work hard to maintain it.”

Some may have grown up with the culture that suits them, they might hate a change in their lifestyle, that’s why they choose to be among similar groups.

If you find anything wrong, first talk with them.

Ask them what it is. If the mistake is on you, don’t give excuses and be mature, accept it. If it is not your fault, make them realize their worth.

Make sure, you are there for them, listen to what they have to say, don’t give solutions, you are listening. If they don’t respond, let them be. Give them space and time to heal. If you feel, you cannot wait a long time, that person is not the right person for you. But if you can wait, then you’ll realize how important that person is in your life, make sure you are there when they are ready to heal.

Similarly, if a person doesn’t listen to you, they may be busy with their life, so don’t hate on them. Let them live and find a new ear to rant to, but don’t you let your heart die of hope. If no one is listening, what you feel, let it flow in various other forms. (Not violently though)

I’d love to close off with this statement, “Don’t have any attachments, if you hate being broken.”

Hope you enjoyed this one, will be back with another post, until then, #LIVEyOURLIFE and #BeLive in yourself.

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Does everything really happen for a reason?

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Everything happens for a reason they say. I so wish, I could have believed that lie long ago. A beautiful life you’ll have ahead, struggles are here for you to learn; they’d be of a great help to you when you go further in your life. It shall not only be helpful in reminding you of all the things you had gone through to reach there but it may help you by providing you with the lessons that made sure you never made the same mistake again. Oh, but sadly, our destiny doesn’t know the nature of a human. It lusts for settlement. It needs to be adored and is always on the lookout for people who praise them.

Who cares what happens to humanity? It’s a small part of a single planet, in a large universe after all. They are all like ants, waiting to be crushed on a moment’s notice. And what does an ant do for a living anyway? Life is useless and shall always be, for all men must die, and if there’s a reason for someone’s existence, why does a human die of young age, while being born, or why do all the crimes happen – Children and innocents killed, massacred and the survivors are looted, slaved or raped? Do the words, “Everything happens for a reason” justify that?

Honestly, this is what at least half of the humanity feels of itself. We have become nothing but a shadow of what we call evil and condemn it when it’s just about the talking, but very few, have the guts to take action against evil. And what do the rest do to boost their will? Oh, that is a concept still unknown to the best of best minds, for selflessness, is a virtue today like a unicorn, impossible to find.

“’I was.’, ‘I am.’ And your ‘I will be’” is not going to help anyone. It has only been making things worse than it is, for those who choose to live with honour, never tend to dishonour anyone or let anyone dishonour others.  Over the years, ‘twas the honourable men who made into the legacy of the legends, but does that mean Brutus was an honourable man? Aye, so they thought he was, but he was the one who ended up killing himself in the end, when he saw his cause was of a lost one.

Living for others and not expecting anything in return is an art of compassion and that is what is expected of a human, no matter what their destiny is. A man has no right to question the duty of a lion, for that is how the balance is maintained, so kindly put that dagger of yours for it is stained. Leap like a lion, but not on innocent preys, but on your goals for they are as far as they say. Live in your moment for you have a purpose, never dare say, life has no purpose. Yours was interrupted, don’t fray, for my dear, Karma is always at play.

Does everything really happen for a reason? Do let me know in the comments below.

I’ll be back with an amazing post, so stay tuned and #LIVEyOURLIFE and #BeLIVE.

Stand UP

Never Underestimate anyone

Dead leaves on the ground, chilly and breezy wind felt my face as I walked across some of my mates.

The whole group was shouting and laughing, being a human, curiosity filled a part of my brain.

A seemingly weak kid was being ridiculed on and picked upon; he unwillingly had a face, with an awkward smile on.

None could see that pain, that kid was going through just to join in on the fun.

Why would someone do that? I started to ponder.

But, everyone would call me a stupid for searching that answer.

All started to make sense as I observed the scene,

All that kid wanted was to be a part of a team.

Though for many, funny it may seem,

This is a reality, everyone chooses to overlook

Your manliness is judged, if you can’t handle, weak in their eyes you look.

As the group left, the kid was all left alone,

He tried to keep himself busy, but couldn’t concentrate, reasons still unknown.

He looked here and there, yet unable to pass the time,

He kept a face that was similar to a dead guy.

Nobody from that group could recognize the damage they caused and all they would do is deny.

I waited to figure out why he had gone through with that pain without any complain.

And I could see, all he wanted was to be accepted as a social person,

Being an introvert, he knew not how to act in front of people.

Being an artist, he knew not how to converse on useless topics.

Being a novice, all he knew was society considered someone to be of value, when somebody gives you respect or when you are a part of a so called well-reputed group.

The torture he had to go through to lock up his soul,

The silent screams he had to make, when he had to forgo his talents,

The strength he had to gather to lose his self-respect.

All that hurting just to cope up with some reckless bullying.

When will this society stand up against this terrorizing activity!

All they do is give it respect and make it grow.

I say, it is time we stand up and rise against this frightening activity which is still hidden inside many.

And give those bullies what they truly deserve.

Choose your company wisely.

Supporting a bully is worse than being one.

Laughing on that kid, is the worst thing one can do,

All he needs a little help to achieve his dreams.

Humanity means standing up for someone, not ridiculing them for fun.

 

BULLYING:

Don’t Stand By- Stand Up

Bullying is the use of force, threat or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others or in simple terms; it is just use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

There are many types of bullying. If you are a person with authority, please be aware of these.

“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.”
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

Individual

Individual bullying tactics can be perpetrated by a single person against a target or targets.

Physical

This is any bullying that hurts someone’s body or damages their possessions. Stealing, shoving, hitting, fighting, and destroying property all are types of physical bullying.

Verbal

This is any bullying that is conducted by speaking. Calling names, spreading rumors, threatening somebody, and making fun of others are all forms of verbal bullying. Verbal bullying is one of the most common types of bullying. In verbal bullying the main weapon the bully uses is their voice.

Relational

This is any bullying that is done with the intent to hurt somebody’s reputation or social standing which can also link in with the techniques included in physical and verbal bullying. Relational Bullying is a form of bullying common amongst youth. Unlike physical bullying which is obvious, relational bullying is not overt and can continue for a long time without being noticed.

Cyber-bullying

Cyber bullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyberstalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time. This includes email, instant messaging, social networking sites (such as Facebook), text messages, and cell phones.

Collective

Collective bullying tactics are employed by more than one individual against a target or targets.

Mobbing

Mobbing refers to the bullying of an individual by a group, in any context, such as a family, peer group, school, workplace, neighborhood, community, or online. When it occurs as emotional abuse in the workplace, such as “ganging up” by co-workers, subordinates or superiors, to force someone out of the workplace through rumor, innuendo, intimidation, humiliation, discrediting, and isolation.

Effects

Mona O’Moore of the Anti-Bullying Centre at Trinity College in Dublin, has written, “There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult, who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide”. Those who have been the targets of bullying can suffer from long term emotional and behavioral problems. Bullying can cause loneliness, depression, anxiety, lead to low self-esteem and increased susceptibility to illness. Bullying has also been shown to cause maladjustment in young children, and targets of bullying who were also bullies themselves exhibit even greater social difficulties.

“They will hate you if you are beautiful. They will hate you if you are successful. They will hate you if you are right. They will hate you if you are popular. They will hate you when you get attention. They will hate you when people in their life like you. They will hate you if you worship a different version of their God. They will hate you if you are spiritual. They will hate you if you have courage. They will hate you if you have an opinion. They will hate you when people support you. They will hate you when they see you happy. Heck, they will hate you while they post prayers and religious quotes on Pinterest and Facebook. They just hate. However, remember this: They hate you because you represent something they feel they don’t have. It really isn’t about you. It is about the hatred they have for themselves. So smile today because there is something you are doing right that has a lot of people thinking about you.”
― Shannon L. Alder

It is a major attributer for suicides and unwanted violence among many people. To know more, you can visit the following links:

List of suicides that have been attributed to bullying.

Suicidal Ideation- Dorothy L. Espelage, Ph.D., and Melissa K. Holt, Ph.D.

Peer Victimization, Cyberbullying, and Suicide Risk in Children and AdolescentsGianluca Gini, PhD1; Dorothy L. Espelage, PhD2

Some facts on bullying:

  1. Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year.
  2. Approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying.
  3. 17% of American students report being bullied 2 to 3 times a month or more within a school semester. Take a stand in your community by hosting a Bullying Policy Makeover event customizing your school’s anti-bullying policy.
  4. 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% of the time.
  5. By age 14 less than 30% of boys and 40% of girls will talk to their peers about bullying.
  6. Over 67% of students believe that schools respond poorly to bullying, with a high percentage of students believing that adult help is infrequent and ineffective.
  7. As boys age they are less and less likely to feel sympathy for victims of bullying. In fact they are more likely to add to the problem than solve it.

Indian Government has given some importance in this case, but we still have a long way to go.

CBSC Board in India has given highest importance against Bullying compared to any other institutions in India.

I would love to do more research on this, but the data I could acquire is just limited. You can do your bit by standing up against it and helping that kid or person.

“If you’re insulting people on the internet, you must be ugly on the inside.”
― Phil Lester

I stand up for better human world. Please do give in your views for this problem as well as my poem, and do help spreading awareness about it.

Share this post so more people can be aware about it.

I will be back with another post, until then, please #STANDUPFORHUMANITY and LIVEyOURLIFE.

“If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more.”
― Taylor Swift

Sources:

  1. Wikipedia
  2. PACER
  3. Do Something
  4. Telegraph
  5. Indian Bar Association

You.

“You are a wonderful being. You are the reason that someone smiles. There is nothing that you cannot achieve. So, trust yourself and do what you love to.”
~Amith Chhabria.

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This date, marks one year of this blog. I started this blog to bring out the best in people, but the more people I reached out to, the more I saw them running away from themselves and that’s when I realized, a person can be motivated only when they are ready.

There were many reasons behind this. Some didn’t trust themselves. Some underestimated themselves. Some were jealous of others. Some were filled with fear. Some hated themselves. Some were lost. Some were clueless and what not.

Let me be honest here, everyone in the world has been through this. No one is perfect. Doubts can be cleared. Fear can be conquered. Hate can be faded. The lost can always find a new place to live.

Life is short, but to live it short is not a good idea. If you feel that you are losing, just look around, there would be millions like you. But if you continue your path towards success, you would see a lesser crowd, all continuing their journey to be awesome and when you finally reach the top, you will feel why you had to doubt yourself all along. The reason there are less people at top is just because the rest of the crowd feel that they are unworthy of the position and never try. Some may hate the hard work, but ask any artist who loves to paint, about hard work, and you’ll know that hard work for them is a happy time because it’s their passion. They might need smart work too. If you follow your passion, your work might not seem that hard after all.

No wonder Swami Vivekananda, “You are the creator of your own destiny.”

Your life lies in your very own hands. One cannot expect the egg to hatch as soon as it is laid and it will only hatch when the creature inside is ready. Motivation works the same way. No amount of guidance will work if the person inside is not ready.

If you want help and you are not getting it, then you are not ready for it yet. You’ll get help when you are ready for it. You’ll ask for it.

If nothing is going according to your plan, then it is going according the Lord’s plan. And trust me, His plans are way more exciting than yours.

Never give up. Giving up is easy. That is why people who think they have lost everything, give up. But in reality, if you have nothing to lose, then what’s the use of giving up? That’s why winners never give up.

“Winners never quit and Quitters never win.”
~Vince Lombardi

Be mindful of your thoughts. They define you. Your thoughts may be the reason why you are what you are and may be that is why you are here. To be yourself.

If you are who you are just because someone has asked you to be what you are now, then I feel bad for you. If you really want to be something amazing, just be yourself. Be you because there is no other person in this world like you, and I know you. You are one amazing friend. You are beautiful. You are the best person I’ve connected with and you are here to win and let me tell you one thing: You have the power to be the best.

As Uncle Ben or Benjamin “Ben” Parker once said:
“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

“What it is that you have to do, and what it is that you have to be, that, your soul will tell. Who will be on your side, and who will be against you, that, the time will tell.
But who you are, and what you ought to be, that, you will tell.”
~Amith Chhabria.

Oh and yes, as the topic suggests, I dedicate this post to you, and if you still doubt yourself, just visit this page back and remember that we love you. Will be back with another electrifying post, until then, just LIVE yOUR LIFE.

“There are mysteries to the universe we were never meant to solve. But who we are and why we are here, are not among them. Those answers, we carry inside.”
~Optimus Prime.